Q: Do you like to work out?
A: I am wearing spandex as I type this.
I have seen the way other athletes gaze upon my meaty form at the gym. It is not in loathing but fascination for that which they can’t fully understand. The peaks and valleys, the caves and crevasses, the pools and eddies of sweat that gather in my nether places as I work out beneath their impenetrable gaze. They long to plumb the depths of my mysterious form. They are confused by these inexplicable longings. Their appetites frighten them. Only when they are ready, will they truly know, that I do indeed, like to work out.